I feel like hell. I have for the past few days. There aren't many people I want to talk to. Jens of course. And Dreybutt, because he's my buddy. Turtle because he lives here. Other than that I really just want to crawl into a hole. I'm -irritable-. And I want this damn period to go away. We're on week 4 now. That's right. It's lasted a month. the last one did this too. So when it stops i'm gonna go see a gyno. Apparently I had a friend who had this problem too. she said it could be serious. Blegh. At this point I think I might get on birth control to either regulate or destroy my period all together.

I"m tired all the time right now. I just slept 13 hours.

And I dont want to be around people, furry or not. I'll snap.

Blegh

Hypocritical Gay Furries, listen up.

Here's a fucking rant inspired by every single gay fucking furry that's ever said EEEW BREEEDERS.

Listen you fuckwads. You take it up the ass. Don't call MY sex gross and I won't call YOURS gross. It pisses me off, hearing OMG VAAGINAS LOL ICKY from a bunch of nancy boys who wouldn't know what to do what to do with one anyway. LISTEN you fucks, it was funny the first time. After the twenty eighth B ILLION time it's just annoying. Guess what? I HAVE A VAGINA. And it's not disgusting, gross, a soul sucking succubus that'll chew off your cock, or whatever else you rainbow wearin fart catchers seem to tell each other around your camp fires in the middle of fabulous fashion advice and KY Jelly fights.

You assholes want acceptance? You dont want to hear shit like this? THEN FUCKING GIVE SOME ACCEPTANCE. I have never in my life called a penis gross, past the age of two. SO if you cant fucking grow up you dont deserve sex in ANY orientation. STOP. BEING. ASSHOLES. Give some respect if you want it. You're a bunch of fucking hypocrites. I cannot count the number of times Ive heard OMG WHY WONT U LET ME BE MEEEE WAAAH CUTCUT from you idiots, yet five minutes later you throw shit at the heterosexuals who are just trying to live OUR lives without being hassled just as much as you are.

There is NOTHING disgusting about Homosexual or Heterosexual love.There is nothing wrong with either gender's body parts. There is NOTHING wrong with prefering one over the other, or even excluding one. There IS however something disgusting about your attitudes. Stop it. Fucking bitches.

Grow the fuck up.

It's not like I'm trying to change YOUR asses into straight boys now am I?

Beyond that, I have one more thing to say. I am a STRAIGHT WOMAN. That means no, I do NOT want to be with another woman. Ive tried it. It's not for me. Stop putting me into your fucked up fantasies. I dont like vagina personally, sexually.

That's about it.

Editor's note, No, I am not calling all gay men hypocrites, assholes, etc etc. I am talking about the specific furries that seem to think they're being funny with the omg ew vagina crap. If you're sensitive and I ve offended you, if you haven't done it, then shut up, it's not about you. If you have, shut up, it's about you. Either way, shut up.

And then I will strike him, until he can be struck no more

No rants tonight really. I've been up a long time and I feel lonely. I have the urge to -do- something but I dunno what. I finished Dreygryph's picture not long ago so you can imagine I'm more than sick of coloring, and I'm not really wanting to write though I am. I'm watching Nicholas Nickleby And...frankly it is a strange movie, very strange. Sad...yet not sad at all. There's something about it that makes me want to -write-, yet gods know I cannot.l I don't know even WHAT I want to write.

I...Suppose that is all really.

Rant rant rant

Woo new rant.

So a random fur messages me today and before I even know where he is, who he is, where he's from, he starts trying to cuddle, lick, nuzzle, and otherwise touch me. I'm a shy fur, if I dont know someone, and if someone begins a conversation this way I become -far- more shy and much more reluctant to touch. I have a thing about that sort of interaction being on my terms and my terms only, and frankly if someone doesn't like that, they can piss off; it's my body and I don't owe a hug, kiss, fuck, or slap to anyone.

Anyhow as I was saying, I continually backed up from the guy textually as all thi swas online, and finally I resorted to telling him "I'm shy" HE responded "oh you dont have to be shy with me." Facepalm. Alright let's try this again. "But I dont KNOW you." I replied. "Well then ask me a question! I'll answer!"

That. THAT is what pisses me off more than anything. Men do that to me at work all the time. "Hey I just met you therefore I do not want to cyber you (Some of the lines we're not allowed to cyber and therefore we have to tell them things like this)" "Oh well then ask me a question" By which they usually mean "Ask me about my penis so I can lie to you about its length" We are not INTERVIEWING you. There is no CHECKLIST we're going down. Hmmm okay I know his name, age, date of birth, where he's from and what he likes to do in his spare time. NOW WE CAN CUDDLE OK COOL LOLOLKTHX. That isnt how it works. FAMILIARITY Is important and we don't MAKE It come about. WHwen I'm familiar with you, I might hug you. AND FUCKD DO NOT ASK A WOMAN "how long until I can (Something) with you?" THERE IS NOT A TIMELINE. FAMILIARITY PEOPLE FAMILIARITY.

NEWSFLASH MEN. IF a woman tells you "I'm shy" While trying to KEEP you from touching her, she is saying "YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE AND THEREFORE VERY RELUCTANT TO TOUCH YOU. PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY PHYSICAL SPACE UNTIL I HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU ARE NO THREAT, AND IF YOU PERSIST, THAT WILL BE NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS."

Men are terribly one minded sometimes, and you furry men can be entirely worse at times. I'm nowhere NEAR a prude but I sure as hell dont want strange men pawing on me. I just don't, and once again, if you don't like it, then fuck off, I don't need you around me.

There are reasons so many furry men are gay I think and one of them is a lot of them have no idea how to handle women. They come on too strong or too self pityingly or call thmselves nice guys when they actually mean "I'm nice because I want your vagina" which isnt nice at ALL newsflash...

And this isnt just furry men mind you. I come across a lot of single men who I just want to tell "I know why you're single and why that'll never change unless you find a woman who really hates herself..." I'm five seconds from starting to do that. Its just that simple.

Please keep in mind I am NOT a manhater. I love my male friends very dearly even the pretty clueless ones. And those of you who know me, Know this. But dear god. SOme things just..ARGH.

I'm fine now. *Gruff*

Wow I'm actually writing a lot.

You know, I was going to do some drawing and coloring, however I really haven't had more than ten minutes this week that I've not been working so my -first- day off was spent playing Diablo 2 and hanging out with Jens. I've needed the rest. My eyes and hands have been going crazy for all the stuff I've been up to. BUT. Tomorrow I'm going to work my way through some of the stuff I've got in my journal to draw, then my next few days off I'll color everything (Including the Dreymeister of course) and then I'll be caught up. I don't ever draw if it feels like work because I'll just rush the hell through it if I do and it'll turn out horrible.

The one I did for Drey I love though and I'm very proud of it even if he does have a mullet--shut up Drey-- and I like the hips I did on Karla's kitty lady. I'm going to play more with anatomy and work harder on slowing my happy ass down to make pictures look better 'n better.

I've kind of started taking my art more seriously, mostly because I've realized that with some hard work I could really make some pretty pictures. In that spirit the last time I was out I ran around and got myself a new sketch pad, some pens and some brand new hi-polymer erasers that take all the pencilmarks off the paper and leave it soooo much cleaner no matter how many mistakes I make. I love these things.

Let's see, what else...Hmmm. I thik that's it at the moment on THAT front...

Mambo's been full of energy lately and I'm just kind of watching him zip through the room almost constantly while meowing loudly. He keeps knocking things over and it's just wow. To add to the mayhem for once I've cleaned up my living room and I took Parmasean out of her cage, and put her in the hamster ball I have. She's now running happily around the living room squeaking softly in pleasure. Actually it's about time for me to put her into her cage again for fewds. She's sooo pretty right now. I love her coat. After my rats are all gone I think I'm going to get nothing but hamsters from then on until Joe and I are able to get ferrets.....

Um. Update. Mambo is chasing his tail. And he's caught it. And now he's cartwheeling through the room w hile HOLDING his tail.

I've been happy lately. Sometime I go on anthrochat for about thirty minutes or so to see some people. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just hang with my closest friends online. Sometimes I work. There's absolutely no pressure on me right now to talk to or not talk to people and it's been so incredibly nice. I've found I don't really NEED to be around people all the time so much as I need the -oppertunity- when I want to be around them to be there.

Right now I'm happy watching Scrubs, watching my cat beat up on one of my hyena plushes.

AND speaking of, I want MORE hyena plushes. Even if I wasn't a furry I'd want them. Actually anything hyena would be just fine. When I start having more money--which probably wont be till Joe's living here but meh--I plan on starting up a hyena collection. It should be challenging since they're not the world's favorite animals. It's not like collecting wolves or lions or tigers whom everyone seems to love. I can FIND them, but not as many and I'm kind of glad. ^_^

I actually got a Shenzi plush from Disney's the lion king and I have Banzai's action figure. I don't really like the Lion King much, but the hyenas are hyenas so...well...I'll deal with it.

So anyway it's tons cold outside, and last night there was an ice storm. Today there may be a refreeze. That means I can't go get my rent money till (hopefully) the day after. I actually walked across about 3 inches (Maybe more I don't know. I'm around 200 pounds so I figure the ice was pretty fucking strong to hold me up) to go get my mail today. Which there wasn't any. Neither rain nor sleet my ass.

Let's see. Wajas is back up and open to the public. Wajasdev.com if anyone wants an account.

Annnnnnd...I think that's it really for the moment.

More talking from meeeeee.

I'm very sure that for the most part unless I'm doing sticky sweaty art for Joe I won't be doing any yiff at all. I have to learn bodies far far better before I bother trying. The only thing I hate about my art is it looks very amateurish especially when I try to draw nekked folk. So. For now I'm going to stick to drawing the things I like, and I'm going to improve that. I think the more I Improve on that stuff the easier it'll be to apply it to other stuff.

I still want a tablet. Badly. I hope Joe gets me one soon. He begged me to not get one myself so I haven't, but I can't wait for him to get me one. Squeee.

Ahem. I have a couple art trades to do, both of which I'm excited about. One is with Sugarcat, who Technically I already drew for, BUT since I've gotten better I feel it's only fair to go back, draw hers again, and spend more time trying to make it look nice. I'll be working on bodies and character interaction with them. The other one is with my friend Drey who I've traded with before, but we've both gotten better so it'll be interesting to see what he does with me, and what I can do with him. I love gryphons so it should be fun. I'm going to work on male bodies, and poses with his.

I'm also doing a gift. I decided my friend Lacerta should have a christmas crocodile picture. I'll work on drawing Reptiles with him so I'm glad to do it. With everyone I'm trying to use their pieces to help improve something of mine that needs it. Since EVERYTHING i do needs to be improved that isn't difficult.

Let's see what else? I was going to rant about Twilight but I'll save that for now. I don't think I have the mindpower to go there without just...crying my eyes out at humanity.

Speaking of, I work for a texting company that does some Psychic work. Dear. Sweet. God but some people ask the dumbest questions. You don't have to be psychic to know the answers to this. If you're dating a married man odds are he does NOT love you and you ARE just a booty call to him. Of course he tells you he loves you. Of course he tells you his wife doesn't understand him. Guess what? THAT'S WHAT A MAN TELLS A WOMAN WHEN THEY WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU. Yes, there are rare instances when the man leaves the wife for the mistress. But rare situation is rare.

For that matter, yes you ARE a whore if you're going after a married man. Yes you are. Yes you ARE. No really. Shut up. You are. The one time I went after a married man? I was a whore. Yes. Going after a married man automatically makes you a dumb whore no matter your age or who you are. For that matter if you're a guy going after a married woman you're a dumb whore too. No double standards here. We aren't talking legally seperated folk. We're talking live-in-the-same-house-sleep-in-the-same-bed married. Are we clear? Alrighty then.

God I get so fucking tired of these women messaging me. The only reason I put up with it is because I'm happy to take their money.

Gosh what else...?

Honestly I think that's the only gripe i have.

(OH my god I just had some woman tell me she's in love with the 'ghost' in her house and she wants a way to become pregnant by him. NO really. Do you people see what I deal with???)

I um. I'm just going to go. And maybe cry for humanity.

Fanfics, the lazy person's "art"

I just want to go on record saying how badly I hate fanfics. I think as a writer I'd be horrified if I showed up one day and two characters I had worked hard on were now gay and molesting the 14 year old boys in my story. I mean come on....

It isn't the little boy stuff that upsets me--alright it is but that's not ALL OF IT--so much as the blatant disregard people have for characters that do not belong to them. If you want some fucking boy on boy love, then make your OWN characters to do those things. Use some creativity. Don't steal someone else's ideas just because you're too sodding lazy to make your own up.

I hate this goddamned trend more than any other I've noticed lately. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Twilight (shudder), Stormhawks for Christ's sake...

Make. Your own. Characters. Yes there IS something wrong with you taking characters someone else has worked hard on and making them your own. That's called stealing. Mkay? Yes, there IS something wrong with you shoving Harry Potter's ass down on Snape's wand. Yes there IS something wrong with you deciding Radar and Stork should be caught in the throes of passion. Yes, there IS. Because these characters arent gay. No they AREN'T. The writers never INTENDED them to be and they aren't. Jesus use some already gay characters. It wouldn't bad if, say, one used Lestat from interview with a vampire to seduce a young boy or two because hey, that's in his nature.

I mean seriously if you have to steal other people's characters at least get them right. Treat the characters the way their authors have written them and at least give them a LITTLE dignity.

It's honestly demoralizing as an author to think that if I ever am lucky enough to finish a book and get published that someone, somewhere may take my Maharaja and write him fucking some sort of teenage boy-creature, really, or worse, change his entire composition to one of their liking.

Blegh. I'll hop off my soapbox now.